WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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