WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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