I love black thongs
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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