It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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