Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
