oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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