I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
