they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You were trust falling into bushes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
