is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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