Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
