Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize