Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
