In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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