So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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