shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
do nipples grow back?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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