All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
