u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
