Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
FUCK WHALES
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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