he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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