clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Bring me that man meat
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
