All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
