I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
