If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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