You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
not ubering you a puppy
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
