giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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