I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
