wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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