Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Drunk is a universal language darling
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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