I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
