just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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