so that wasnt chicken after all
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
