How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
