for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
