Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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