I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
