I just saw a hot homeless man
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
