remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
