sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
