i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
