i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
