Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
