the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
