He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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