She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
