get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
