Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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