How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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