words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize