We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
