:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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