we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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