i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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