I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
