he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
