It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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