youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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