Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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