his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
