dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
