It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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