Christians are straight up FREAKS
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
