oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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