New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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