Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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