A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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