the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
