I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize